Moving On Up

Well friends, it's 2009, and in honor of the new year I decided it was time to do a little cleaning around the house today. One of my chores for this afternoon involved tidying Gabe's dresser drawers, which I never mind doing. It's fun to go through his little outfits and pajamas and hats and socks. Today as I began to straighten out the piles of onesies, I realized that many of the items I was folding really didn't fit him anymore, and my tidying the drawers morphed into cleaning out the drawers and banishing all of the too-small clothes to a storage bin.

This kind of broke my heart.

I've done it twice before - gone through stacks and stacks of little clothes, sifting those items that still snap easily from those that have grown too short or too tight, exposing little calves and chubby forearms - and both times it has been surprisingly tough. You see, we have been incredibly blessed in that we haven't bought many clothes for Gabe at all; most have been given to us as gifts, either at my baby shower or following his birth. So every time I placed a tiny t-shirt or pair of miniature jeans into the storage pile, I remembered who gave it to me. I remembered opening up a baby shower gift wrapped in pale blue paper and holding up the contents: a little onesie with a guitar on the front. A pair of baby overalls. A cowboy t-shirt and matching socks almost too small to be real. I remember the smiles on the faces of the gift-givers. And I remember myself, so excited, so full of hope and joy at the prospect of meeting the little person growing inside of me. What an amazing time in my life.

I can clearly remember receiving a darling outfit emblazoned with turtles and fish on the front and thinking, "This is so big. The baby will never be able to wear it." And now that outfit (sob!) is in the storage pile. It's too tight across his chubby tummy now, and too short for his long, long legs. Oh, my baby. My Gabe. I am so happy that he is growing big and strong, and learning new tricks almost constantly! But I am so sad that his baby days are racing by at this rapid pace. I am so sad to pack his newborn clothes away. I wanted one more wear out of those fish and turtles. One more day of his being tiny and new.

As I packed I tried to console myself by thinking that perhaps we will be lucky enough to have another baby in a year or so. If we are very, very lucky, perhaps it will be another healthy little boy. Someone who can wear the guitar onesie, the overalls, the cowboy outfit, the fish and turtles. This made me smile, but it didn't really console me, because no matter how amazing and wonderful a new baby would be (if we are indeed blessed enough to have one, boy or girl!), that new baby will not be Gabe. He is unique, and just fantastic, and my very favorite little guy. And he will never be a newborn again. He'll be a big boy soon. He'll be walking, then going off to elementary school, then wanting to drive my car, and dating, and acting like a typical sullen teenager. Sigh.

I know, I know, this is all a little melodramatic and Queen Of Stating The Obvious - the baby is getting bigger! Shock! Alert the media! So I will stop my mooning and end with another observation:

That baby has a way better wardrobe than I will ever have. Better by a mile. No fair.



Above are a picture of Gabe on his birthday, and a video taken this afternoon.