My Day (Aren't You Giddy With Anticipation?)

1. Jerk awake from sleep to the sound of baby crying. Check clock. Is 4:03 a.m.
   
2. Drag self out of bed and into baby's room for standard 4:00 a.m. feeding.
   
3. Kiss baby, lay baby back down in bed.
   
4. Crawl back into bed, then check fancy video baby monitor. Baby appears to be sleeping again, tummy full. Excellent, excellent.
   
5. Resume sleeping.
   
6. Jerk awake to the sound of alarm clock. Check clock. Is 7:01 a.m.
   
7. Force self awake. Accept mug of coffee proffered by lovely, lovely husband.
   
8. Fortified by caffeine, commence morning routine of feeding baby, showering, dressing baby, preparing bottles/lunch for baby, getting ready for work, etc.
   
9. Am hungry, but realize there is no time to eat.
   
10. Kiss baby and husband goodbye and get in car (as lovely husband is dropping off baby at daycare as usual).
    
11. Sit on 405 freeway.
12. Sit on 101 freeway.
    
13. Merge onto 134 freeway and discover there is no traffic on 134. Accelerate to 70mph. Whee!
14. Exit ramp for my exit is backed up. Boo.
    
15. Arrive at work at approx. 9:07. Commence drafting contract while returning emails and voicemails simultaneously. Am excellent multitasking-type person.
    
16. Still hungry at approximately 10:19. Run across the street to Starbucks and grab low-fat muffin (but who am I kidding? Allegedly "low-fat" muffin undoubtedly contains 867 calories and 52 grams of fat) and black coffee. Mmmmm, Starbucks.
17. Return to desk and continue work while picking gross dried apricots out of "low-fat" muffin.
    
18. Send out three contracts for signature. Hooray for me!
    
19. Send out a draft contract to my business contact. Am such an effective lawyer. Pat self on back.
    
20. Is now 12:23. Must run to Studio lot to pick up a copy of 101 Dalmatians for my sister-in-law like I promised her I would do.
    
21. Arrive at Studio lot. Damn, no copies of 101 Dalmatians in stock. Purchase "101 Dalmatians 2: Patch's London Adventure" as wholly inadequate substitute.
22. Grab salad at Studio commissary. Am paragon of virtue, food-wise.
    
23. Return to desk at 1:17 and begin eating salad while replying to emails and feeling guilty re: lack of original 101 Dalmatians DVD.
24. Conference call from 2:00-2:30. No fun. Everyone cranky. Force self to pay attention and not check favorite websites.
    
25. Receive comments to draft contract from business team. Revise draft and send out to vendor for signature. Such a good lawyer today!
    
26. Conference call from 3:00-3:30. Less crankiness on this one.
    
27. Check gmail account and www.icanhascheezburger.com because am lazy and ineffective sometimes.
    
28. Also check favorite blogs, www.flotsamblog.com, and www.amalah.com. Ooooh, new update on Flotsam! Hooray!
29. Send out one more contract for signature. Return some more emails. Is almost 4:00!
30. 4:02. Time to sneak out. Check hallways for signs of boss. Boss is nowhere in sight. Scurry to elevators as quietly as possible.
    
31. Where is elevator? Damn it.
32. Ahh, elevator arrives. Excellent, have escaped without notice!
33. In lobby, encounter co-workers returning from afternoon Starbucks run. Busted.
    
34. Oh well.
    
35. Locate car in parking garage.
    
36. Drive to daycare to collect baby. Is raining. Oof.
    
37. Baby!!!!!!!!!!!
38. Many squeezes and kisses. Baby applauds for me and buries his head in my shoulder/neck area.
    
39. Am happy.
    
40. Put baby into carseat and take him out to car. Grateful for excellent parking spot right near door, as the rain is really coming down now.
    
41. Sit on freeway on-ramp. Inauspicious beginning to drive home.
    
42. Sit on 134.
    
43. Sit on 101.
    
44. Sit on 405 (all the while thanking God or whatever higher power is in charge of baby naps that baby fell asleep on 134/101 transition and remains asleep now. Snoring slightly, actually.)
45. Arrive at home!
46. Baby still sleeping. Huh.
    
47. Will sit in car and wait for him to wake up.
    
48. Check BlackBerry, return work emails.
    
49. Baby still sleeping. Double huh.
    
50. Baby awake! Hooray!
51. Gather baby in carseat (with blanket carefully draped over same to prevent any raindrops from touching his precious skin), daycare bag full of empty bottles and lunch containers, mail from mailbox, and oversize (but very stylish) purse and run for the front door, as rain continues to pour down.
    
52. Discover I am excellent at running in the rain in high heels. Yay for me!
53. Am drenched. Baby is amused. Claps hands.
    
54. Remove baby from carseat and play on the floor for a while. Baby loves clicking butterfly toy and old cell phone with battery removed.
    
55. Try to return a few more work emails while amusing baby with floppy dog toy. Baby spies BlackBerry and demands to play with it.
    
56. Baby flings BlackBerry to the ground. The back comes off and battery skitters under the coffee table.
    
57. Reassemble BlackBerry.
58. Baby demands BlackBerry again.
    
59. Baby flings BlackBerry to the ground again.
    
60. Enough of that game.
    
61. Carry baby to the highchair and present him with his menu options. Baby rejects lentils and rice combo dinner (judging from volume of rejection, baby suspects lentils might contain poison) and instead selects Cheerios and applesauce. Surprise, surprise.
    
62. Feed baby. Much babbling and smearing of applesauce occurs.
    
63. Attempt to wipe off baby. Leave disgusting Cheerio/applesauce mixture mashed into highchair tray for later.
    
64. Realize baby has just spit some Cheerio on my soft, soft (read: expensive) cashmere sweater. Feel that baby is perhaps slightly disrespectful of cashmere, and that I am perhaps stupid for not changing clothes before feeding baby.
    
65. Play with baby some more. Many tummy kisses and giggles and banging on the little red piano are involved.
    
66. Am happy.
    
67. Cuddle up with baby in big chair and give him bottle, then offer baby selection of bedtime stories.
    
68. Baby selects "Hippos Go Berserk," "Each Peach Pear Plum," and "The Going To Bed Book." Excellent choices all.
    
69. Read books, smooch baby's fat cheeks, and lay baby down in crib. Baby is tired, rubbing eyes.
    
70. Turn out lights.
    
71. Grab aforementioned fancy video baby monitor and head to kitchen to do the Big Bottle Wash. Wash all bottles and baby food containers used today, plus scrub previously mentioned Cheerio/applesauce mush (which has now solidified into a hard crust) from highchair tray.
72. Check monitor. Baby appears to be fast asleep. Hooray!
    
73. Realize have forgotten one dirty bottle on bedside table. Damn.
    
74. Check work emails. Return work emails. BlackBerry trackball not working quite properly, perhaps as result of BlackBerry being flung to the ground several times. Hmm.
    
75. Husband arrives home bearing take out Chinese food! Best Husband Ever!!!
76. Smooch husband then greedily grab Chinese food bag from his hand.
    
77. Eat delicious shrimps and mixed vegetables. Mmmmmmm.
    
78. Also drink wine. Mmmmmm.
    
79. Watch American Idol saved on TiVo. Feel strong feelings of love for: (a) husband; (b) baby, who is still asleep; (c) Chinese food; (d) Simon Cowell; (e) cats (one of whom is sitting on feet keeping them warm); and (f) TiVo.
80. Prepare bottle things for 4:00 a.m. feeding; put all supplies on bedside table.
    
81. Brush teeth, remove contacts, etc.
    
82. Give husband big hug and smooch.
    
83. Go to bed.
    
84. Whew.